Why ‘Do What I Do’ Solutions Don’t Do It For You

Let’s get straight to it. Anyone who says “I did this and it worked for me so it’ll work for you too” is not just wrong, they’re doing a disservice to everyone listening. That kind of advice is lazy, misleading and frankly damaging.

Why? Because we’re all completely unique. From our genetic makeup to our life-experiencings, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution in health and wellbeing. And The Alchemy of Being we’re challenging this cookie-cutter approach.

Today I’m going to explore why your individuality is your greatest asset and why the do-what-I-did mentality needs to be left behind. Get ready to embrace your uniqueness and embrace experimentation to discover your own path to health and wellbeing.

So let’s deep dive into why we’re all so uniquely wired. It’s not just about our personalities or experiences, it’s rooted in our very biology. We’re going to look at five key factors. Each alone makes us unique but when you combine all five you’ll see just how truly one-of-a-kind we each are.

So firstly, let’s talk about our genetic expression. We each have a unique genetic code but it’s not just about the genes we inherit, it’s about how those genes are expressed. A field known as epigenetics. Our environment, lifestyle choices and even our thoughts can influence which genes are turned on and off. This means that even identical twins can have different health outcomes based on their experiences and choices.

Next, let’s explore our brain’s neurocircuitry. Our brains are incredibly plastic, constantly forming new neural connections based on our experiences. This neuroplasticity means that our emotional responses, our abilities to handle stress, and even our propensity for happiness can change over time. And as no one has had the same experiences as us, it means our responses will be only ours.

Third, let’s discuss the gut. Our gut microbiome, the trillions of microorganisms living in our crucial role in our overall health and even our mental state.The composition of our gut bacteria is unique to each of us, influenced by various factors. For example, your diet has a significant impact. High-fiber diets rich in fruit and vegetables promote diversity, while highly processed foods reduce it.  Our environment also plays a role. Exposure to nature and diverse ecosystems can enrich our microbiome, while overly sanitised environments limit it. Social interactions are another fascinating factor. Studies show that people with large social networks tend to have a more diverse microbiome, as we share microbes with those we spend time with. So with trillions of these microorganisms and so many influencing factors, the possible combinations are virtually infinite, making our gut microbiome a key factor in our individuality. Because so many processes that produce hormones, our metabolism, our immune system, all take place in our gut.

Another crucial factor in our uniqueness is how we respond to stress. Stress activates the amygdala, a part of our brain responsible for processing emotions and detecting threats. When the amygdala senses danger, it triggers the fight or flight response by sending signals to the hypothalamus. This sets off a cascade of physiological changes, but each one can be slightly different. Adrenaline floods the body, heart rate increases, blood pressure rises, and non-essential functions like digestion are shut down, because survival is priority. The hypothalamic pituitary adrenal axis, HPA axis for short, also plays a key role, regulating the release of cortisol, which influences many bodily functions including metabolic, psychological and immunological processes. But our ability to handle stress is highly individualized. Not everyone reacts to stress in the same way. Some might immediately go into flight mode, while others lean towards flight and avoidance, or even freeze. Then you’ve got the fawn response, where we try to appease the source of our stress. These varied responses are shaped by past experiences, learnt behaviours, and how our nervous system has adapted over time. The way each person’s body navigates the stress cycle, from activation to recovery, is entirely… unique. That’s why the same situation can be stressful or stress-free to different people.

Lastly, let’s not forget about our unique set of beliefs. Held in our subconscious mind and predominantly created before the age of seven, these shape our perceptions of the world and our responses to it. Two people can experience the same event very differently based on their beliefs, leading to different physiological responses and health outcomes.

All these factors interplay in complex ways, making each of us truly unique. It’s why one-size-fits-all approaches to health and wellbeing are likely to work for only a few people. So when someone says, this worked for me, so it’ll work for you, they’re not considering the intricate interplay of factors that made it successful for them.

Their success is a combination of their unique biology, their unique experiences and perhaps a bit of luck. It’s not a universal solution. When we follow generic advice, we often end up feeling frustrated and disappointed.

This isn’t because we’re flawed, it’s because we’re trying to fit into a one-size-fits-all solution. Let’s look at a couple of real-life examples of how this can lead to self-doubt, a lack of confidence in our efforts and frustration.

For instance, I was recommended to try the keto diet a couple of years back. My friend had used it and it was working amazingly for them. They looked and felt fantastic and were eating things I could only dream of. So I gave it a try. Within seven days I felt bloody awful. I had the worst headache I’ve ever experienced and it was affecting my ability to function. They hadn’t had that, although reading up some did say they had it for a while. Upon more research I discovered that when you move to keto your body needs four times the amount of water to metabolise. And as an EDS sufferer I am already dehydrated all of the time so upping the need for water made my dehydration so much worse. Keto was not for me. This made me feel shit. Like there was nothing I could do to lose weight when everyone seemed to find it easy.

I can also think of times when friends of mine have bemoaned to me how they just can’t meditate. Sitting still, trying not to think, drove them mad. They thought they were doing something wrong because they couldn’t empty their minds. Using a technique that someone promised would have some universal effect on their stress, on their sleep or even on their virility.

Feelings of failure and confusion about why it didn’t work, even though the issue lies not with the person but with the approach itself, the psychological impact of following universal advice without understanding the caveats can be profound. That sense of inadequacy that we can’t replicate someone else’s success. This is because we’re comparing our unique journey to someone else’s unique journey without considering the factors that contributed to their results and whether they apply to us.

It’s essential to recognise that everyone’s path is different and that success often involves a combination of factors that are unique to each individual. I’m sorry, but there are no silver bullets or quick fixes in life, no matter how much we would really like there to be.

Instead, it’s like creating a recipe. Each of us needs to experiment with different ingredients to find the combination that tastes great to us. Some might just add a pinch of chilli while others throw in the whole lot.

That means embracing experimentation and not judging ourselves when something doesn’t work out. It’s an adventure, this thing we call life. Trying things that do or don’t work is just part of the experience. We learn something in both outcomes.

So the key is to approach anything with an open mind and a willingness to learn from the experience. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others and start focusing on what truly resonates with us.

This journey of discovery is not only empowering, but also essential for finding what genuinely works for our unique needs and circumstances. This is why at The Alchemy of Being, we talk about a ‘Toolbelt For Life’, because we will each need a different set of solutions across the soul, mind and body spectrum to help us deal with our unique quirks and help us curate the life we desire and deserve.

Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide what belongs in your Toolbelt. what doesn’t. Embrace your power to experiment, adapt and curate a life that’s tailored to your unique needs and desires. That’s the essence of The Alchemy of Being.

Empowering you to create yourself and build your ‘Toolbelt For Life’.