Let’s get straight to it. Anyone who says “I did this and it worked for me so it’ll work for you too” is not just wrong, they’re doing a disservice to everyone listening. That kind of advice is lazy, misleading and frankly damaging.

Why? Because we’re all completely unique. From our genetic makeup to our life-experiencings, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution in health and wellbeing. And The Alchemy of Being we’re challenging this cookie-cutter approach.

Today I’m going to explore why your individuality is your greatest asset and why the do-what-I-did mentality needs to be left behind. Get ready to embrace your uniqueness and embrace experimentation to discover your own path to health and wellbeing.

So let’s deep dive into why we’re all so uniquely wired. It’s not just about our personalities or experiences, it’s rooted in our very biology. We’re going to look at five key factors. Each alone makes us unique but when you combine all five you’ll see just how truly one-of-a-kind we each are.

So firstly, let’s talk about our genetic expression. We each have a unique genetic code but it’s not just about the genes we inherit, it’s about how those genes are expressed. A field known as epigenetics. Our environment, lifestyle choices and even our thoughts can influence which genes are turned on and off. This means that even identical twins can have different health outcomes based on their experiences and choices.

Next, let’s explore our brain’s neurocircuitry. Our brains are incredibly plastic, constantly forming new neural connections based on our experiences. This neuroplasticity means that our emotional responses, our abilities to handle stress, and even our propensity for happiness can change over time. And as no one has had the same experiences as us, it means our responses will be only ours.

Third, let’s discuss the gut. Our gut microbiome, the trillions of microorganisms living in our crucial role in our overall health and even our mental state.The composition of our gut bacteria is unique to each of us, influenced by various factors. For example, your diet has a significant impact. High-fiber diets rich in fruit and vegetables promote diversity, while highly processed foods reduce it.  Our environment also plays a role. Exposure to nature and diverse ecosystems can enrich our microbiome, while overly sanitised environments limit it. Social interactions are another fascinating factor. Studies show that people with large social networks tend to have a more diverse microbiome, as we share microbes with those we spend time with. So with trillions of these microorganisms and so many influencing factors, the possible combinations are virtually infinite, making our gut microbiome a key factor in our individuality. Because so many processes that produce hormones, our metabolism, our immune system, all take place in our gut.

Another crucial factor in our uniqueness is how we respond to stress. Stress activates the amygdala, a part of our brain responsible for processing emotions and detecting threats. When the amygdala senses danger, it triggers the fight or flight response by sending signals to the hypothalamus. This sets off a cascade of physiological changes, but each one can be slightly different. Adrenaline floods the body, heart rate increases, blood pressure rises, and non-essential functions like digestion are shut down, because survival is priority. The hypothalamic pituitary adrenal axis, HPA axis for short, also plays a key role, regulating the release of cortisol, which influences many bodily functions including metabolic, psychological and immunological processes. But our ability to handle stress is highly individualized. Not everyone reacts to stress in the same way. Some might immediately go into flight mode, while others lean towards flight and avoidance, or even freeze. Then you’ve got the fawn response, where we try to appease the source of our stress. These varied responses are shaped by past experiences, learnt behaviours, and how our nervous system has adapted over time. The way each person’s body navigates the stress cycle, from activation to recovery, is entirely… unique. That’s why the same situation can be stressful or stress-free to different people.

Lastly, let’s not forget about our unique set of beliefs. Held in our subconscious mind and predominantly created before the age of seven, these shape our perceptions of the world and our responses to it. Two people can experience the same event very differently based on their beliefs, leading to different physiological responses and health outcomes.

All these factors interplay in complex ways, making each of us truly unique. It’s why one-size-fits-all approaches to health and wellbeing are likely to work for only a few people. So when someone says, this worked for me, so it’ll work for you, they’re not considering the intricate interplay of factors that made it successful for them.

Their success is a combination of their unique biology, their unique experiences and perhaps a bit of luck. It’s not a universal solution. When we follow generic advice, we often end up feeling frustrated and disappointed.

This isn’t because we’re flawed, it’s because we’re trying to fit into a one-size-fits-all solution. Let’s look at a couple of real-life examples of how this can lead to self-doubt, a lack of confidence in our efforts and frustration.

For instance, I was recommended to try the keto diet a couple of years back. My friend had used it and it was working amazingly for them. They looked and felt fantastic and were eating things I could only dream of. So I gave it a try. Within seven days I felt bloody awful. I had the worst headache I’ve ever experienced and it was affecting my ability to function. They hadn’t had that, although reading up some did say they had it for a while. Upon more research I discovered that when you move to keto your body needs four times the amount of water to metabolise. And as an EDS sufferer I am already dehydrated all of the time so upping the need for water made my dehydration so much worse. Keto was not for me. This made me feel shit. Like there was nothing I could do to lose weight when everyone seemed to find it easy.

I can also think of times when friends of mine have bemoaned to me how they just can’t meditate. Sitting still, trying not to think, drove them mad. They thought they were doing something wrong because they couldn’t empty their minds. Using a technique that someone promised would have some universal effect on their stress, on their sleep or even on their virility.

Feelings of failure and confusion about why it didn’t work, even though the issue lies not with the person but with the approach itself, the psychological impact of following universal advice without understanding the caveats can be profound. That sense of inadequacy that we can’t replicate someone else’s success. This is because we’re comparing our unique journey to someone else’s unique journey without considering the factors that contributed to their results and whether they apply to us.

It’s essential to recognise that everyone’s path is different and that success often involves a combination of factors that are unique to each individual. I’m sorry, but there are no silver bullets or quick fixes in life, no matter how much we would really like there to be.

Instead, it’s like creating a recipe. Each of us needs to experiment with different ingredients to find the combination that tastes great to us. Some might just add a pinch of chilli while others throw in the whole lot.

That means embracing experimentation and not judging ourselves when something doesn’t work out. It’s an adventure, this thing we call life. Trying things that do or don’t work is just part of the experience. We learn something in both outcomes.

So the key is to approach anything with an open mind and a willingness to learn from the experience. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others and start focusing on what truly resonates with us.

This journey of discovery is not only empowering, but also essential for finding what genuinely works for our unique needs and circumstances. This is why at The Alchemy of Being, we talk about a ‘Toolbelt For Life’, because we will each need a different set of solutions across the soul, mind and body spectrum to help us deal with our unique quirks and help us curate the life we desire and deserve.

Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide what belongs in your Toolbelt. what doesn’t. Embrace your power to experiment, adapt and curate a life that’s tailored to your unique needs and desires. That’s the essence of The Alchemy of Being.

Empowering you to create yourself and build your ‘Toolbelt For Life’.

Let’s talk about something that might make you uncomfortable, because sometimes discomfort is where the real breakthroughs happen. So what if I told you that part of you might unconsciously be holding on to illness?

Not because you want to suffer, but because being ill has become part of who you are, your identity. I know this might sound provocative, but hear me out. I’m not just speaking from theory. I’ve been there myself.

When I first had to go gluten-free, everyone fussed over me. It wasn’t as common then as it is now, and restaurants didn’t really cater for it. So every time we went out, it was all based around ensuring I could eat.

In that way and others, I can honestly say I got something out of being unwell. I was receiving secondary benefits, attention, care, even a sense of control. It wasn’t intentional, but it was real. Maybe you can recognise this in the friend who always seems to have a cold or allergies, or the one who is constantly watching what they eat due to ongoing digestive issues.

Perhaps you know someone who dominates every gathering with talk of their latest specialist visit or medication change. Maybe that person is you. There are many ways that having a health challenge can provide secondary benefits, but those benefits will never outweigh the challenges, negatives and impacts of being unwell.

Getting rid of that part of your identity could be the key to changing the direction of your health journey. Illness doesn’t just affect the body, it seeps into your mind and soul, shaping how you see yourself and how others see you.

For some of us, being unwell becomes like a comfort zone. Why? because of the secondary gains. Think about it, if being ill means people show you care and love that you might not otherwise receive, wouldn’t part of you want to hold on to that?

If illness gives you a reason to slow down in a world that demands you’re constantly on, isn’t that tempting? Or perhaps your illness provides a sense of community connecting you with others who share similar experiences.

Maybe it’s even that unique identity setting you apart in a world where everyone seems to blend in. These benefits aren’t something you consciously choose, they’re deeply rooted in our beliefs and behaviors.

Fascinating research by Oris in 2016 identified four distinct illness identities, two negative, rejection and engulfment, two positive, acceptance and enrichment, all offer valuable insights. In the context of our discussion today I’m particularly interested in engulfment.

So this is when illness dominates your identity and daily life. If you’re engulfed, you might find yourself defining every aspect of your life through the lens of your illness, as if your condition has become your entire world.

Let’s say, for example, that like me, you live in low-level chronic pain. If I still had an illness identity, it could manifest itself in my life in lots of ways. I could curtail my social life because I can’t go out with friends because I might have a flare-up.

It could stop me dating because I’m not sure I can be a good partner because my pain might be too much for someone else to handle. It could stop me doing things I love, like I used to love gardening, but now I only see it as something that will cause me more pain or the bending and lifting.

It’s a recipe for disaster. It can mean I plan my entire day around managing my pain levels and my medication schedule. It could alter how I see myself. I’m no longer the active, energetic person I used to be.

Pain has changed who I am and stops me from being that person anymore. It could change any future planning I do. Well, I can’t make long-term plans because I don’t know how bad my pain will be in the future.

Living with chronic pain or any other health challenge can quietly and insidiously shape how we see ourselves and how we navigate the world. Well, illness comes to dominate every aspect of your life.

It’s so easy to feel stuck, like there’s no way out. But what if I told you that this isn’t just about how you think or feel? There’s actually science behind why this happens, and understanding it can be the key to letting go of your illness identity and rediscovering who you are beyond it.

So, let’s dive into the science behind this. Because it’s not just about feelings, it’s about how your brain works. When you’re ill, your brain rewires itself to to adapt to that state, neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to form new neural connections.

It’s like your brain is a super flexible ever-changing network. When you focus on your illness, you’re essentially telling your brain, hey, this is important stuff, and your clever brain listens. It starts creating more connections related to illness, making those pathways stronger.

But here’s the good bit. The same flexibility can work in your favor. Just as the brain can wire itself for an illness identity, it can rewire itself towards health and vitality. And every time you take a step towards wellness, positive thought, a healthy action, you’re creating a new, healthier pathway in your brain.

Think about it like this. Your brain is constantly under construction, and you’re the project manager. The more you focus on health and wellbeing, the more your brain will build in that direction. And it’s not always easy, but understanding the process can be incredibly empowering.

It means you have control over your health journey more than you might have thought. Thank you. So explore how your brain can trap you in an illness identity. And let’s be honest, society often throw fuels on that fire.

We live in a world that can be downright obsessed with illness and not always in a helpful way. Think about the media. How many stories do you see glorifying, brave patients battling diseases? Well, while these stories can be and are inspiring, they do often reduce individuals to their condition.

It creates a narrative where someone’s worth is tied to their ability to fight their illness, as if wellness is a battle to be won through heroic actions. And if the fight isn’t enough, then now you’re a failure.

And let’s not forget the expectations placed on us with health challenges. Society expects you to either be a super patient, constantly advocating for yourself and fighting, or a compliant patient following orders to the tee.

And there’s very little in between. That pressure can make you feel like you’re performing your illness for others. And social media, now that’s a double-edged sword. Yes, online communities can offer support, but they can also become echo chambers, where symptoms, treatments and shared suffering become the main currency.

Even well-meaning friends and family can reinforce illness identity. In Britain, we have a societal norm to ask, how are you feeling? And whilst there’s often asked out of kindness, it means we can unintentionally always start an interaction right there.

And do we then treat people differently because of their condition, inadvertently reminding them of their limitations? It’s important to be aware that various industries profit from people staying focused on their ailments, from pharmaceutical companies to certain segments of the wellness industry.

interested in keeping you engaged with your health challenges. This isn’t to say that all wellness advice is bad, far from it, but it does mean that you have to be discerning and critical about the information you consume.

Question everything. Ask yourself, who benefits from me staying sick and what steps can I take to reclaim my power? Understanding these societal factors isn’t about blaming others. It’s about recognizing the external pressure that can keep you stuck in an illness identity.

By becoming aware of these forces, you can consciously challenge them. It’s about taking control and curating your identity. Now let me share something really interesting about the language we use when talking about illness.

The words we choose have a profound impact on how we perceive ourselves and our health. For example, saying I have x creates a sense of ownership as does I have been diagnosed with x. It asserts that it is yours, part of who you are.

But if you say something like, I’m experiencing X or even better, I’m currently doing X, it’s more transitory. It doesn’t attach the illness to your identity in the same way. It’s a subtle shift in language, but it can really help you see your health challenge as temporary, something you’re moving through rather than something that defines you.

So now let’s talk about how to break free from this hidden trap. The first step is awareness, but we need to start with something a bit more tangible. Think about your health challenge for a moment.

What are you getting from it? Look, I know that sounds odd, but there will be hidden benefits we don’t readily acknowledge. So ask yourself, how does my health challenge influence my daily decisions?

In what ways has my illness shaped my relationships? What aspects of my personality have changed since developing this condition? These questions might feel uncomfortable, but they’re crucial, but understanding how strong your illness identity is.

Then dig a little deeper. How would your daily life change if you didn’t have this health challenge? What aspects of your current situation would you miss? These questions can be quite confronting, but they’re incredibly freeing.

If you’d like some more questions or help with this, then there’s a download available underneath this video. They’re all designed to help you see where illness might be holding you back and where you can start to reclaim your identity.

Now, once you’ve reflected on these questions, it’s time to take the next step towards healing and growth. Now, this journey can be challenging, but also incredibly freeing and empowering. By acknowledging your thoughts and emotion, you are already showing yourself kindness and compassion.

Now, let’s explore some practical ways to build on that self-awareness and move forward. Don’t worry, we’re gonna take this step by step. So the first thing, you need to rewrite your story.

Rewiring those neurons for wellness, not illness. And a great way to do this is journaling. Start writing about what your life would look like without health limitations. What would you do? Who would you be?

Then think about the small steps you can take today to move closer to that vision. For example, if you love to travel more, but can’t because of X, Y, and Z, you can start by perhaps exploring your local area, going somewhere you’ve never been each week or month.

Another powerful technique is visualization. Spending just five to 10 minutes each day, imagining yourself living fully beyond your health challenge. But don’t just visualize the actions, feel the emotion, the freedom, the joy, the vitality, the more senses.

you can use, the more you’re priming your brain to create those neural pathways that align with that vision. Affirmations can also be incredibly helpful. Create statements that reinforce your identity beyond illness, like I am strong and capable, or I am creating a life of health and freedom.

Now these must be written in the present tense to support the brain’s rewiring process. Future tense remains forever in the future. And stick them around the place. Repeat them whenever you see them.

The more, the better. My door frames, mirrors, etc. are often covered in them. The one key aspect here, make sure when you say them, you say them with intention and you mean them. Going through the motions here isn’t going to cut it.

Next, it’s crucial to surround yourself with supportive people. Seek out those who see you for who you are beyond your health challenges. This might mean having honest conversations with friends and families about how you’d like to be supported, or even finding new communities that align with the life you’re working towards.

Lastly, if you are keen to progress faster and have some funds available, you could consider working with practitioners who specialise in belief change. There are some amazing modalities out there that can help shift deeply ingrained patterns and belief, forcing that rewiring we talked about to happen almost instantaneously.

Some of the ones I like are Psych-K, a powerful tool for limiting beliefs at the subconscious level. Belief coding is another great option. It’s designed to help you identify and rewire belief systems that no longer serve you.

You might also want to explore EFT, emotional freedom technique, which combines tapping on acupressure points with cognitive reframing to release emotional blocks. And don’t forget about hypnotherapy.

It’s a fantastic way to access your subconscious mind and reprogram beliefs and behaviours tied to illness. identity. Remember, letting go of your illness identity isn’t about denying your health challenges, it’s about rediscovering who you are beyond them.

It’s a journey of shifting focus, rewiring thought patterns and curating a life that feels aligned with your true self. You’ll be amazed how that can and so often does coincide with a reduction in symptoms.

Those neural pathways aren’t as strong and here’s the most important thing to remember, every small step counts and you’ve got this. Thank you. So I want to share something personal with you. Many of you know that I do Elostanlos Syndrome or EDS.

It’s purported to be a genetic condition that affects connective tissue leading to a range of symptoms like joint pain, fatigue and digestive issues. For many doers, they end up wheelchair bound or even bed bound. I am not. And for many people, they think that means I don’t really have it. So I wanted to share my EDS story. I was told I was doing EDS, diagnosed, in 2004 when I was 25. All I took away from that first meeting was that hypermobility means I needed to strengthen my joints.

I wasn’t in the mindset then to ask questions or do research. So I just got on with my life. Life continued. And I noticed that every time I went to the doctor, they would question whether what I was raising was in any way connected to EDS.

It seemed that if it was, my insurance didn’t pay out and everything would grind to a halt. But at that time, I had bigger health issues to deal with. From an EDS perspective, things came to a head in 2017.

I had gotten my life and health back and I was moving out of London to St. Albans. I started getting really bad abdominal pains. They were insane. They would make me faint regularly. Now, part of the reason for moving was to become a foster carer. And at the end of 2017, I did just that. And that added a challenge of being single, the only adult in a house with two young boys aged under four. Abdominal pains that make you faint is not compatible in that situation.

So I went to the doctor to explore what could be causing this. They immediately referred me to an EDS specialist. Very quickly into that meeting, I realized I knew very little about EDS. The more he said, the more I felt anxious. All these things were likely to come my way at some point. He told me the approach to an endometriosis operation. had had two years earlier had been totally wrong because of EDS. He tutted at a lot of things I told him I did. His mouth hung open at a few things I was able to do. The relevant thing I learnt was that people doing EDS are very sensitive to histamine. They tend to have a lower tolerance and this was likely the cause of my abdominal pain. The move from central London to suburbia had increased the pollen in my immediate environment because I had a garden and that was taking all of my histamine tolerance. So the foods I was eating that were high in histamine, avocados, spinach, were pushing me over my tolerance limit.

At that point I asked him to stop. I politely asked if we could just deal with that one issue. Having been through my recovery and learnt about illness mindset. I knew that if I listened and learnt about all the possible symptoms, impacts and drawbacks, I would quite likely notice them in myself, inadvertently then encouraging them to be present in my experience and likely integrate them into my identity.

And as we know, if we think about it, the chemistry of the body will change to comply with those thoughts, the mirror neurons, neuroplasticity, etc. And I didn’t want to bring on any more symptoms. The specialist was genuinely quite surprised that I didn’t want to know. But then again, he was also surprised by how mobile and active I was. But he sent me some tests around the histamine.

When I got there, everyone looked at me very oddly. I was the only patient there who wasn’t in a wheelchair or using a stick. Yet we had all had the same diagnosis. It was a stark reminder of how differently EDS can manifest and how much our mindset can influence our experience. Again, I had to ask the specialist I saw not to comment on all the things I didn’t have. And I refused to answer questions that were phrased in such a way as to list out symptoms they expected me to have. I felt very sorry for all those people sitting there. I could see that EDS defined their lives. They were engulfed and EDS was their identity.

I know that some may say I am doing myself a disservice, not understanding my condition. But from all I have learnt, understanding things is not actually always the biggest priority not to focus on the potential limitations of EDS, I was actively resisting the trap of illness identity. I was refusing to let a diagnosis define who I was or what I was capable of. But I definitely think that after those trips to the specialists, my pain got worse.

I was having to do more and more to manage it, and keep myself as mobile and active. It was that that led me to seek to take part in Dr Joe Dispenza’s coherence healing research focused on pain that I did in 2020. I wanted to undo the expansion of the condition. Looking back, I realised this was a conscious effort on my part to rewrite my slightly enhanced illness identity and reclaim control over my health narrative.

I am very lucky. It worked. And my pain is less than it has ever been. I am active. walking my dog every day, hiking mountains on holiday, taking part in adrenaline activities that you have to be able to trust your body to do.

Deciding who and what you want your life to be about is far more important. And you know what? Making that decision and taking those actions made all the difference.

Yes, I am still doing EDS and yes, it presents challenges. I do some pain management every day and there are things I choose not to do now. But it doesn’t define who I am and it hasn’t progressed in ways that a lot of EDS accounts on social media describe.

I’m still Charlotte.

By actively curating my identity, by refusing to let illness take over, I’ve been able to thrive despite my diagnosis. And that’s what I want for you too. I want you to know that no matter what health challenges you’re facing, you have the power to choose who you become.

So we’ve talked about strategies for recognising and letting go of your illness identity. We’ve explored ways to reclaim your story and curate a life that’s truly yours. But here’s a question I want you to really think about.

Are you worried about what might happen if you become healthier? It’s not that you want to be unwell, but maybe you’re concerned about what your life might look like without the familiar structure and support system that your health challenges have required you to create.

Perhaps you’re worried that wellness means having to face aspects of your life that you’ve been avoiding, whether it’s taking responsibility for things you’ve been blaming on your health, confronting difficult emotions or making tough choices about relationships or career paths.

Maybe you worry about setting new boundaries. What’s your get out of jail free card will be now. And then, what if it doesn’t last? What if you don’t like the version of yourself? What if your friendships change?

What if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if? A whole lot of that is unknown. It’s a blank canvas. Is that exciting or scary? It all depends on your perspective. And which aspects of the void you focus on.

It’s worth reflecting on all of these what ifs for a moment. This isn’t about conscious choice. If only life was that easy. It’s about bringing subconscious anxieties to the surface. Acknowledging them allows you to rewrite their impact on you.

And I can tell you, for all the examples above, they will happen. And you will be able to choose how they change. And you’ll love some bits, not like others. And have to change them again. But ultimately, you will be in control of designing and creating your new identity, and therefore the experience of life that you have.

You are so much more than your health challenges, which is where our philosophy at the Alchemy of Being about curating yourself rather than finding yourself comes into play. It’s much more about what you focus on than what you already have or don’t have.

It’s time to let go of old stories, step up to that blank canvas, and create what you do want. At the Alchemy of Being, we believe you already have everything you need within you. It’s just about choosing which parts to focus on.

Your health challenges don’t define you unless you let them. Remember, you are not them. You are so much more. And letting go of an illness identity can be one of the most liberating things you will ever do.

Thank you for joining me today for this important conversation. If this resonated with you or even challenged you, I’d love for you to share your thoughts below or reach out directly. If you feel this would resonate with someone you know and love, then share it with them.

Let’s start rewriting our stories together. Thank you.

Welcome to the final part of our journey on breaking free from life limiting beliefs. If you’re just joining us, I highly recommend watching parts one and two first, where we explored my personal journey and what these core beliefs are and how to identify them in your own life.

By now, though, you’ve likely used our worksheet to identify some of your own core limiting beliefs, and you might be feeling a mix of emotions, perhaps relief at finally naming them, or maybe frustration at realising how deeply they’ve affected your life.

Whatever it is you’re feeling, I want you to know that you’re exactly where you need to be. Awareness is a crucial first step, but it’s just the beginning, and it’s important to understand that simply knowing these beliefs with our conscious mind isn’t enough to create lasting change.

These beliefs are rooted deeply in our subconscious, formed before we have the ability to critically evaluate them. To truly transform these beliefs, we need to work directly with the subconscious mind.

This is where the real change happens. And it’s also why changing core beliefs can be challenging and takes time. Our brains have spent years reinforcing those neural pathways, and rewiring them requires patience and consistent effort.

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to changing core beliefs. What works for one person might not resonate with another. And that’s why we’re going to explore several methods, both self-help techniques and practitioner-led approaches.

You might find that a combination of these works best for you. By layering different practices, you can reinforce the changes you’re making and potentially accelerate that neural rewiring process. This multi-faceted approach can help create a stronger, more lasting shift in those core beliefs.

So now we’re going to dive into three self-help techniques and three practitioner-led approaches. Feel free to explore all or any of these methods as you embark on your journey of transformation. Just remember this is a process and it requires persistence but with the right tools you can rewrite your internal narrative and create a more empowering reality for yourself.

So let’s explore three powerful self-help methods that can help you take control of your belief system at your own pace. These techniques are accessible, free and often deeply transformative when practiced consistently.

So first up is journaling. Writing is a powerful way to uncover, analyse and reframe limiting beliefs. Through journaling you can identify recurring thought patterns, understand their origins and create affirmations or alternative beliefs to replace them.

A couple of specific journaling approaches that I’ve used in this space are inner child writing and stream of consciousness writing. Both of these allow the subconscious mind to express itself on paper in ways that can be quite eye-opening.

I once had a very intense conversation with an eight-year-old me that brought to light a lot of how I’d acted and treated others and what had been a long-since experience. You can learn about these two techniques in our Wellness Wiki and they’re included in the download worksheets below.

If journaling is something you’d like to try, then here’s an exercise to get you started.

So, reflect on a situation that triggered a strong emotional reaction. It can be recent or as far back as you’re willing to dive. (I know that just hearing that question would have brought a couple of them straight to your mind, so I’d say go with them.)

• Now write about this situation.
• Then analyse what you’ve written to see which belief it may have activated.
• Then explore, using your conscious mind, how you can reframe this belief in a more supportive, positive growth perspective. What did it teach you? What has it enabled you to do that you wouldn’t have done otherwise? There is always something we gained from every experience, good or bad.
• Create what the belief or statement is that you want to have taken away from that experience and then take that into the second self-help technique, which is:

Affirmations.

You must have heard of these, they’re positive, present tense statements designed to be repeated over and over until they replace negative beliefs. Repeated often enough, they shift your subconscious mind by replacing existing neural pathways with new ones that are empowering, not limiting.

Leading figures in the affirmation world like Louise Hay or Dr Joe Dispenza have shown that affirmations promote self-love, emotional healing and over time, recondition the mind and body. In our worksheet, we’ll show you how to construct effective affirmations.

I have used this technique a lot. My mirror, fridge, laptop, screens, doors have been covered in post-it notes. as I repeat the affirmation every time I walk past it. Repetition is key here. There are other neuroscience-based aspects that can speed up the rate of neural change with Dr. Tara Swart explained so well. So check her out.

But here’s one to try:

Stand in front of the mirror and repeat your affirmations whilst maintaining eye contact with yourself. Sounds easy enough, but most people can’t look themselves in the eye for too long, let alone saying positive affirmations like, I am deserving of love, or I can achieve anything I set my mind to.

But trust me, over time, this can build confidence and a stronger connection with that belief.

The last belief we’re sharing today is advocated by Bruce Lipton and is Self-hypnosis. This is my favourite of the self-help techniques.

Specifically, he suggests that you create a voice recording of the beliefs you want to adopt and listen to it nightly as you fall asleep. This approach leverages the brain’s suggestible state during the transition to sleep, known as… theta brainwave state. The theta state is key to self-hypnosis because it provides a natural gateway to the subconscious mind making it more receptive to new ideas and belief. And yes, that’s right, theta is the same brain state that we were in the entire time until the age of seven when the core beliefs were first created.

So by bombarding the brain with new beliefs whilst in that state you accelerate that speed of neural change. Remember repetition is key to changing beliefs and forming new neural pathways so I make myself notice recordings and I repeat the beliefs I want to recreate over and over for about 30 minutes and I play it in my headphones every night as I fall asleep.

Now a lot of people don’t like hearing their own voice so you can always get an ai-bot to read them for you or ask a family member or friend. I personally make alchemist sallies for example. What I love about this technique is that you create the recording and it’s done while you’re not aware so it’s a great use of time.

Now staying committed and you can begin to see shifts in that mindset over time. I find this technique works in a couple of weeks. I start by noticing my thoughts, change my attitudes, energy and reactions to things associated with my belief changing so being observant is key.

Now I think combining these three self-help techniques super sizes your efforts. The journaling helps you understand where you are and how the changes are coming along. It also helps you create the perfect few affirmations that you can stick around the house to add extra oomph and act as an input to the self-hypnosis recording which then adds a time investment that you can’t do in the working day. It’s a blinding combo.

Let’s explore three practitioner-led approaches that can help address limiting beliefs at a more profound level.

The first I want to share is Psych-K ©. Now this is a process designed to reprogram the subconscious mind with positive beliefs. Practitioners use muscle testing and specific protocols to replace neural pathways with empowering alternatives. It involves getting into a whole brain state and uses bio hacks and neural platforms. ethnicity principles to affect the same change as you’re doing in self-help, but way faster. It’s like adding a shot of caffeine.

Now, Psych-K is known for being quick and effective, often yielding noticeable shifts in a single session. I first found Site K when I was looking for ways to change my relationship with my siblings. I didn’t really understand it though, until I studied with Dr. Bruce Lipton, who freely shares that Site K transformed his career and thoughts.

Next up is The Emotion Code. This neuroscience energetic modality focuses on identifying and releasing trapped emotions that may be reinforcing limiting beliefs or causing physical and emotional pain and resetting them.

By addressing the emotional roots, this method clears blockages and allows you to create new, empowering beliefs without being held back by past trauma. I only discovered this modality in late 2024 when I had need of it personally.

Mole, one of our alchemists, used it to help me understand the emotional basis of a physical health issue I was struggling to shift. It was uncanny what he was able to uncover, and the energetic reset that he did on each aspect I could feel physically, a shiver down my spine or an odd smell or taste appeared, which in reality is the removing of the neural pathways that were no longer needed given the removal of trauma, emotion and experience. I love this modality.

Last up, Hypnotherapy. In part one, I explained that hypnotherapy is one of the established ways we can create new neural pathways that can become new beliefs, but it can also be used to change existing ones.

Now, you may have heard of it being used for fun, like a chicken type hypnosis, or to change habits, stop smoking, lose weight, have been two big ones, but essentially, it’s a guided process where a practitioner helps you enter a deeply relaxed trance-like state. (Yes, we’re back to theta brainwaves). As you know, this state, your subconscious mind is receptive to suggestions and belief changes. The practitioner then speaks directly to your subconscious and can act as an editor of what’s there, removing bits, rewriting bits, adding bits in.

This approach often achieves fast results. Now, I’ve had limited experience of this modality myself, but the experience I did have was very positive. I noticed a shift even after just one session, but I always recommend a few, with any of these practitioner modalities – As the neural network in our brain is very complex, and often, like peeling an onion, the beliefs we identify and shift lead us to uncovering another layer of even more deep-rooted beliefs we need to shift. So see it as a process, not a silver bullet.

Now, as we conclude this three-part journey through life-limiting beliefs, remember this, these beliefs are not truths. They’re simply stories you’ve adopted along the way, often without realizing it. But the beautiful part, they can change.

By identifying, challenging, and transforming the five core beliefs or any sub-beliefs, you can free yourself to live a fuller, more empowered life. And I know this first-hand.

Breaking free from I am not enough was one of the most liberating experiences of my life. And if I can do it, you can do it too.

Now, whether you choose self-help techniques, practitioner-led methods, or a combination of them both, (that’s what I personally recommend). You’re taking powerful steps towards lasting change.

Remember, you have the power to rewrite your story.

Now, if this series has resonated with you, here are three ways you can take action today.

1. If you haven’t already, download all the worksheets from part two on identifying core beliefs and today’s self-help techniques, journaling, affirmation, self-hypnosis. They’re powerful tools to start your journey.
2. Share this series with someone who might benefit from it. Sometimes knowing we’re not alone in our struggles can be the first step towards change.
3. If the practitioner-led approach resonated with you then why not book a session with one of our practitioners?
   1. Mole and Nicky offer Psych-K ©.
   1. Mole provides The Emotion Code
   1. Vicki specialises in Hypnotherapy.

You can learn more about each of them and contact them via their page on the Alchemy of Being website. Links also below.

Thank you for joining me on this three-part journey of the Alchemy of Being vlog.

Your commitment to growth is inspiring.

Let’s rewrite these stories together.

And remember, don’t find yourself, curate yourself.

Welcome back to part 2 of our series on breaking free from life limiting beliefs. In our first video, I shared my personal journey and how I discovered the profound impact of our subconscious beliefs.

If you haven’t watched part 1, I highly recommend pausing this video going back to understand the full context of our exploration. Trust me, it’ll make this journey even more meaningful. Today, though, we’re diving into the five core limiting beliefs and how to identify them in your own life.

Remember, awareness is the first step towards transformation. So let’s identify these five beliefs that can profoundly impact our lives. These beliefs aren’t just fleeting thoughts, they’re deeply ingrained neural patterns that shape our reality, operating below our conscious awareness.

We can pretty much track every negative thought we have back to one of these five core beliefs. So let’s break them down one by one.

The belief ‘I am not enough’ whispers that no matter what you do, it will never be good enough. It fosters an exhausting pursuit of perfectionism or conversely leads to an avoidance out of fear of failure. This mindset doesn’t just limit your potential, it detracts from your ability to enjoy the present, sabotaging relationships, self-compassion and your sense of worth.

Marisa Peer popularized the phrase, I am not enough, highlighting how it becomes a core narrative that drives behaviours and feelings of inadequacy. This belief often underpins cycles of perfectionism, where individuals overcompensate in their attempt to prove their worth or manifest as chronic self-doubt leading to procrastination and fear of trying.

Moving on, ‘I don’t belong’ creates a pervasive sense of being an outsider fostering social anxiety and isolation. This belief can manifest in numerous ways from difficulty forming close relationships to feeling like an imposter in professional settings.

Brene Brown’s research on belonging reveals that this belief often stems from shame and early experiences of exclusion leading to a deep internalised sense of disconnection. She argues that true belonging requires embracing our authentic selves and cultivating self-acceptance rather than seeking external validation.

The belief ‘I am unlovable’ often stems from early experiences of rejection or abandonment. It can lead to a fear of intimacy, self-sabotaging relationships and settling for less than you deserve out of relief that true love is unobtainable.

Louise Hay, a pioneer in self-love and affirmations, illuminates how the belief of being unlovable often originates from early experiences where love felt conditional or unobtainable. Hay emphasises that the journey to belonging begins with offering ourselves the unconditional love we have maybe been deprived of, enabling profound shifts in self-perception and fostering the capacity to form deeper, more authentic connections with others.

Feeling ‘I am powerless’ can trap you in a cycle of inaction and despair. This belief can manifest as learned helplessness, whereas you stop trying to change your circumstances because you believe your efforts won’t make a difference.

Dr. Bruce Lipton’s Biology of Belief teaches that we are co-creators of our experiences and shifting this belief can transform our lives. His research reveals how our subconscious mind governs 95% of our actions, yet we have the ability to reprogram it through intentional practices.

The belief that ‘The world is fundamentally unsafe’ keeps you in a constant state of anxiety and hypervigilance. It can lead to risk aversion, limiting your experiences and opportunities for growth and connection.

Byron Katie’s The Work provides a structured approach to challenge this belief by encouraging others to question its validity. Through a series of thought-provoking questions, The Work invites you to examine whether our fears and assumptions about safety are true or simply stories we’ve internalized.

So now that we’ve looked at these five limiting beliefs, some may have resonated with you already, let’s discuss how we identify them in our own lives. We can’t all have a clairsentient healer tell us.

This process requires curiosity, honesty and self-compassion.

We’ll look at five ways to uncover your core belief, because there is no… one-size-fits-all so use whichever works for you, and you can pop them all in your tool belt should you need them later on.

You can also download a worksheet underneath this video with them all here to try and understand.

Our thoughts are windows to our deeper beliefs so pay attention to thoughts that persistently loop around in your mind especially during challenging moments. These often originate from core beliefs. These thoughts might stem for beliefs like I’m not good enough or I’m unlovable the world is unsafe.

• Take a moment to write down three recurring negative thoughts you’ve had this week.
• For each one ask yourself what belief might be behind this thought. Does it align to one of the five core beliefs we’ve discussed?

Our emotional reactions can reveal a lot about our core beliefs. When you feel strong emotions like anger fear or shame it’s a sign that a core belief is being challenged or reinforced.

These reactions might connect to beliefs like I’m not good enough, I am not important, I do not belong.

• So recall a moment in the past month when you felt particularly upset or a particular emotion at the extreme.
• What happened? What was your emotional reaction? And which of the five core beliefs might trigger this reflect?

The rules we impose on ourselves often reflect our core beliefs. The statements that start with I should always or I must never indicate the standards and expectations we feel compelled to uphold. These rigid rules are often born from our need to prove or protect ourselves in some way. They’re our brains attempt to shield us from the pain of our core belief being reinforced. While these rules may feel like they keep us safe or in control, they often create undue pressure, stress and self-criticism, leaving us feeling trapped or unworthy when we fall short.

By examining the should’s and musts that guide your behaviour, you can identify the belief that underpins them and begin to challenge its power. Here’s an exercise to help you identify your own should and must statements.

• So first, list five should or musts you often tell yourself.
• Reflect on each. What belief is behind the statement? Where did this belief come from? Was it something your grandmother used to say when you were little or your teacher?
• What happens if I released this expectation? Next up, our reaction to compliments can offer profound insights into our core beliefs. While praise might seem like a gift, for some it’s uncomfortable and feels undeserved.

When we struggle to accept a compliment, it’s often because it clashes with a deeply held belief about ourselves. This inner conflict may cause us to downplay the compliment, brush it off or even reject it entirely. Recognising these patterns allows us to identify the underlying belief driving them. By reflecting on why certain complements feel so unsettling, we can uncover the stories we tell ourselves and begin to rewrite them.

Here’s an exercise to help you identify your reactions to praise and criticism.

• So think of the last time you received a compliment. What was your reaction? Did you accept it, downplay it or reject it?
• And what does that reaction reveal to you about your belief?
• Repeat it with a moment of criticism and journal about how you felt receiving both positive and negative feedback.

Our earliest beliefs about ourselves are often formed in childhood, shaped by the messages we received from our caregivers, teachers, peers and the environment. These formative experiences create the foundation for how we see the world and ourselves within it. Whether explicit or subtle, these messages reinforce core beliefs that we carry into adulthood. By revisiting core moments with curiosity and compassion, we can begin to untangle how these experiences shape us and see them for what they are, situations that influenced us, rather than definitive truths about who we are.

• Think back to significant memories from your childhood and write down. One, what messages did you hear repeatedly, either spoken directly or implied through actions?
• How do those messages make you feel at the time?
• What core belief do you think may have stemmed from those experiences? And how has this belief impacted your life and relationships as an adult?

Now, before we wrap up, I want to encourage you to download the worksheet on identifying core beliefs and take some time to work through it and really explore which of these beliefs might be influencing your life.

In our next and final part of the series, we’ll explore powerful techniques to actually change these beliefs. We’ll cover both those you can do on your own, so self-help strategies and also practitioner-led approaches that can help you rewrite your internal narrative.

If you’re feeling excited about the possibility of change, get ready, because part three is going to give you practical, actionable tools to transform your life. But remember, the work starts now with identifying your belief.

So grab that worksheet and I’ll see you in part three. Bye.

I want to talk about limiting beliefs. I’m going to tell you my personal story of how I discovered the limiting belief that was truly a key part of my illness journey and how changing it was part of my health restoration.

And then we’re going to talk about how you can identify yours and ways that you can change them.

But before that, let’s just talk about what a belief is.

So a belief essentially is a cluster of neurons in your subconscious brain that influence how you interpret and respond to experiences and situations in your life.

Our subconscious mind is predominantly created before the age of seven when our brain is in a state of hypnosis and we just interpret everything around us as being accurate and informative, and we basically just create a whole set of neural pathways based on those things without any judgment.

We don’t understand sarcasm, we don’t get irony, what is said, what is done. It’s fact. We can also do this through repetition. We can add new beliefs to our subconscious mind through repetition or through hypnosis.

And the reason why this is important is that the research has shown us that more than 74% of those neural clusters in our subconscious brain, those beliefs, are life limiting based on what in our conscious mind we are saying we want to achieve.

So what that means is we have these two minds, the conscious and the subconscious mind, and they are out of alignment. They are very imbalanced in that the things we’re choosing to say we want in our lives, the way we choose to behave, the way we choose to live our life, is not supported by the neural patterns that have been created.

So for example you might say, I want to fall in love and have a healthy relationship, but your neural patterns created when you were a young age, or from repetition and hypnosis as we said, will actually say a relationship is dangerous, being vulnerable is dangerous.

A healthy relationship is one where you’re in control. A healthy relationship or love is shown through control. Love is shown through insults. If someone’s rude to you it’s because they care about you, those sorts of things.

So you’re sitting there on the one side in your conscious mind choosing to go out and find someone, but your subconscious mind is drawing you towards a person that fits belief pattern rather than the conscious choice pattern and that’s why it’s unhealthy that’s why it’s not good that’s why they’re life limiting.

But what is great is that we have learned through the studies of neuroplasticity, through the studies of the subconscious mind that we can change these beliefs so that our conscious mind and our subconscious mind can be aligned.

As we are living based off our subconscious beliefs 95% of the time – because when your conscious mind is thinking, creating the future, talking, reading,  whatever it might be doing – your subconscious mind is making decisions for you – adjusting to the environment based on those sets of beliefs.

So, we need to get those both going in the same direction they’re both going to be making decisions that align with what you in your conscious mind have decided you want your life to be about, to look like,  and to be.

So let me tell you my story around how i discovered the limiting belief that i had. If any of you have taken the opportunity to read my story you will know that back in 2011 I was at the pinnacle of my illness after a decade of struggling with western medicine.

Eventually, through the use of some alternative practices i managed to get a diagnosis from my western gastroenterologist who gave me six weeks before i was likely to perforate my bowel with a very low chance of surviving.

So I’ve got six weeks, and I’m not ready to die,  so I have to do something.

I was working with a functional medicine doctor who had been helping me understand a lot more about how the body works and when the doctor’s test said i was fine what that really meant. One of the things he said to me was “I just don’t believe this is entirely physical I think there’s a spiritual aspect to this. I think there’s an emotional mental aspect to this. And I want to introduce you to a friend of his called Adrienne, who was a clairsentient healer”.

Clairsentience essentially means that they manifest your physical issues in their body, and then they heal themselves, and in doing so, they heal you. It’s very rare, it’s also kind of freaky.

So when I met Adrienne, it was over Skype, because we’re back in 2011, no Zoom yet, just Skype. She was in Australia, and we got on the phone, and she said, “oh my God, you must be exhausted. I’ve only had your physical manifestation for 12 hours, and the pain, the exhaustion!” And I was like, oh, I didn’t even realise I was in pain. I’d been in pain for so long.

And she then proceeded to go from the top of my head to the tip of my toes telling me everything that was or ever had been wrong with me. Including how I got scars,  operations I’d had –  all this sort of stuff and she was spot-on and everything.  I mean literally everything – at the end I was just wide-mouthed.

Then she took a pause, and she said “That’s a lot right. But then she says you know what’s really good is it’s actually all down to one issue, one limiting belief that is manifesting itself on every meridian of your body”. We have 12 meridians so essentially that meant this belief had manifested itself in 12 different ways – in each of those meridians.

She said “We heal that one problem we heal the whole thing”.  I said “okay”, but I was very sceptical and I said “what’s the belief?”

and she said that “you’re not enough” and I burst into tears.  It was like she was in my head.

I said “what do you mean you’re not good enough”?

She replied – “you believe you’re not pretty enough, you’re not clever enough, you’re not savvy enough,  it’s not enough in any way and you’ve been pushing yourself so hard to try and be enough and no matter what you do no matter how successful, no matter how endearing you make yourself,  no matter how physically attractive you make yourself,  you will never ever be enough.”

That imbalance, as we said between the conscious mind and the conscious mind.

I was like “okay”

she said “we heal that, you heal”

I said “I’ve got six weeks”

she said “We’d better get started.”

and we did, and we did it in a very unusual way. She used meditation predominantly and then we did some physical things. She’s a nurse so we did some physical things at the end of the six weeks. But for the first five weeks I meditated at sunrise and sunset using different words that held the correct energy frequency to change that.

And we did various treatments (ice therapy, enemas, nature immersion, and we talked one hour a week about me and my life and my achievements and where these beliefs came from). And we changed them.

Now moving on, 14 years, there’s a whole field of belief change modalities now – that work a lot faster. And that’s huge, there’s a lot more understanding around what the core limiting beliefs are. And how they manifest themselves and the emotional, mental, spiritual and physical symptoms that that can cause. And that’s what we want to talk about.

I believe I am here today. One, because I found a parasite and killed it. Two, because I had Ade and she showed me that not being good enough had driven me to the point of existing not living.

Because I couldn’t do anything. I was one of the youngest VP’s the history of Barclays. I was playing county tennis 13, hockey at 16. I got an academic scholarship at 13 despite being dyslexic. I’ve sung in some amazing places including cathedrals around the world. I was on the stage. I did my A-levels in a year because I had glandular fever. All these things I’d been pushing myself so freaking hard because I was trying to be enough, and it just was never going to happen.

And you get to the point where you’re like, I can’t do this anymore. I’m exhausted. I’m done. And that’s where my body got. I think when my relationship broke down and my partner got engaged within six months of our six-year relationship ending, I was just like, fuck, I’m done.

And my body just started shutting down. It was like, yeah, we agree. We’re done. We’ve been working really hard for a really long time with no thank you and no appreciation, nothing. And so, yeah, my body just started shutting down.

My adrenals had stopped. My thyroid had nearly stopped. My gut had stopped. Peristalsis had stopped. You know, my body was showing all the signs of being under intense inflammation and stress. All from one belief.

Changing it changed everything.